Anything Goes
by Ranma-Trekkie
Summary: In late 20th Century Japan the two teen martial artists Ranma Saotome and Akane Tendo are on their way home when the entity known as Q decides to 'introduce' himself. A bucket of water and ensuing fight later finds Ranma and Akane 400 years in the future.
1. Introduction

Anything Goes…

By: Ranma-Trekkie

Introduction

"Listen, Buddy. I dunno who the heck ya are, W... P..."

"My name is Q, Ronny. You'd know that if you'd paid any attention when I introduced myself..."

"Hey! Waddaya mean in'erduced? You attacked me, ya jerk!"

A red headed Japanese girl with a pigtail, about 18 standard years old, balled her fists. She was shaking in anger and dripping wet. In contrast, the European man with the prominent cheekbones was not only dry, but appeared to be rather amused at the girl's outright rage. He was perched on a balcony above the street, swinging his leg off the side and leaning his back against the railing with an empty bucket in his hands.

"Please, I'd hardly call that refreshing little shower an attack."

Q rolled his eyes as he spoke. The red head clenched her teeth.

"Ya gonna come down here, or do I gotta knock ya down?" She shouted up at him.

"Ooh, how portentous! Tell me, are you going to beat me up, boy?" Q remarked with an arrogant smirk as he leaned forward slightly.

"That's it!" The red head retorted as she reached back behind her.

There was a second Japanese girl behind the first, with short black hair, holding a bag of groceries. She had been silent, simply sighing and glancing away disinterestedly from the altercation. The red head plucked a tomato from the top of the bag and pitched it at the man named Q. The second girl's head whipped around and she furrowed her brow in annoyance.

"Hey! What do you think you're-"

"Eat this!" The redhead called as she pitched the ripe vegetable.

In his typical annoying fashion, Q stopped the tomato with his hand, catching it as easily as if it had been a lightly tossed baseball.

"Careful..." He commented as he snapped his fingers. With a bright flash he disappeared from the balcony, and with a second flash he appeared standing in front of the two girls with an even more amused smirk on his face. "You almost bruised it."

"Ahhh YAH!" The red head called, launching a brutal punch at Q, aimed to wipe the smirk off his face. There was another pair of flashes in quick succession, and he reappeared behind the girls this time.

"Ah, ah, ah!" He said smugly, waggling a finger to chastise the enraged teen. "Queen's rules, you didn't wait for the bell!" Another flash, and suddenly the three were in a boxing ring at the center of an arena. Q was now wearing boxing gloves and shorts emblazoned with a large letter Q in gold on a black background, hopping around on his toes and making jabs at the girl as a bell dinged several times. He caught her in the face twice before she ducked his punch and sent a kick at him. Of course, Q simply flashed out of the way, reappearing after the kick was past. "Oh, come on, Kid. Surely you can do better than that..." He taunted, looking her in the eye in mock seriousness.

From ringside, the second girl poked her head between the ropes, looking mad as a wet hen and still holding her groceries in one arm while waving in fury with the other. "Raaaaanmaaa! You idiot! Stop fighting! We have to get these groceries home in time for dinner or-"

Ignoring her companion, Ranma (as the red head was more commonly known) creased her brow in further anger. "Ah, you asked fer it, Jerk! KATCHU-TENCHIN AMAGURIKEN!" She launched a flurry of punches at the offending Q, moving so fast her arms were only a blur to the human eye. With a flash, Q's body disappeared and Ranma's punches met only air beneath his floating head. When Ranma finally stopped her attack, there was another flash and the three were back standing on the street corner where they started. Ranma's face was a mix of rage and bewilderment.

"How'd ya do that? Never mind, I'll still beat ya!"

"Ranma, you idiot! We don't have _time_ for any of this!" Her companion protested. "Quit your stupid fight so we can get out of here!" The sun was already starting to set, and their fathers would be crying about it all night if they didn't get their dinner on time. Ranma didn't heed the warning and got ready to launch another attack, while Q just rolled his eyes.

"Oh, very well if you insist..." he flashed out of the way of Ranma's attack again, reappearing in an Umpire's uniform as if he were calling a Major League Baseball game somewhere in America, or whatever these obsequious humans called it. "Yooooou're ouuutta here!" He made the call motion with one hand, jerking his thumb back over his shoulder with a smile while snapping his fingers with his other hand.

There was a familiar bright silvery flash and the three appeared in a strange setting, totally unfamiliar to the two girls, though Q knew it all too well. It was one of his favorite little playgrounds in the universe. "Wah-lah!" He shouted, waving his hand in a sweep around the room. "I told you this would only take a minute, didn't I? And now your lives will be infinitely more spectacular than your tiny little pea brains can comprehend!" he glanced back at the girls, still smiling. Ranma looked decidedly unhappy, and her companion was downright seething. Too angry for words, the short haired girl practically glowed red. "Isn't that wonderful? Mmm?"

At precisely this moment, the bald Frenchman occupying the chair at the center of the room stood up. From the looks of it, he was every bit as angry as the two young Japanese girls. "Q! What the _HELL_ is going on here! Who the Devil are these people, and why have you brought them here?" He demanded in a vehement outburst.

**Author's Notes: Okay, I hope you all liked this. If there is a formatting issue, I apologize. I'm new at this, and used to writing RP, not Fan Fiction. lol Anyways, I had thought about this several times before, but randomly got inspired to start writing it one night earlier this week. I believe I kept everyone in character, but I'm open to tips and reviews on that, as well as ideas for future chapters! Also, I don't have a real set stardate for when Q dumps Ranma and Akane on Picard and Crew, but I will say that I'm leaning towards sometime after Tasha Yar's death and still within the earlier half of the show. I won't give away how long the two teens will be aboard the Enterprise for, though I will say with Q and Ranma aboard the Enterprise D… it can only get more interesting from here. =/\=RT**


	2. Chapter 1

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Here you are, the long awaited, much anticipated… Chapter One! I warn you it's not as long as I intended, but there is more on the way. Also, I tried to make this chapter a little more Next Gen than the Intro was. We see MUCH more of the crew here, of course, and it takes on more of the standard 'Oh frack, it's Q again…' attitude of many Trek Episodes. I did my best to also add in the right touch of typical Ranma humor, so I hope this one's funny enough for you all while still staying believable to both audiences. Enjoy!

Anything Goes…

By: Ranma-Trekkie

Chapter One

Welcome to the Future

From the expressions of the other people scattered around the room, even Ranma could tell nobody was happy to see this guy. With a look of mock hurt, Q put a hand to his chest. "My dear Mon Capitan! You wound me to the quick! I brought these people here that they might enjoy the benefit of your fine moral tutelage."

"The hell you did!" The bearded man standing at the far end of the room interjected. "Q. Since when have you done anything for anyone else?"

Q turned to him and smiled. "Ah, the incomparable Commander Riker, surely you must remember _some_ of my innumerable acts of charity?" He put his hand to his chest with a flourish.

Picard glowered at Q. "Throwing us into a battle with the Borg, using us like toys to be played with in your ridiculous fantasies… putting us on trial for the crimes of humanity? I'd hardly call those acts of charity."

Riker crossed his arms, and the dark skinned man with the ridged forehead who was standing next to him frowned deeper, something Ranma had not thought possible until that moment. The dark man had a small gray device in his hand, pointed at the two young Japanese girls. He had drawn it when they first appeared on the bridge, and Ranma had adopted his, or in this case her, traditional ready stance as soon as she saw it. She had no idea what it was, but she could tell it wasn't a remote for the giant TV she was standing in front of. 'Man, that's a big TV…' She thought, eyeing the large view screen over her shoulder.

Q rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Please, Captain! If I hadn't intervened the Borg would have assimilated half the Federation by now."

Picard shook his head in frustration and strode up to the self-proclaimed super-being, pointing a finger at him. "If you had not intervened we would have met them _in our own time!_ And perhaps then that contact would not have cost _lives!_"

Q frowned. "Don't be so naïve, Jean-Luc. They would have eaten you alive." There was something different about him as he spoke, Ranma noted. He was serious. For the first time since they'd 'met,' Q didn't seem to be amused or joking.

Riker spoke up again. "This has gone on long enough," He glanced at the Captain, who nodded in agreement.

"Quite right, Number One," Picard replied.

"Worf." Riker signaled the dark man to lower his remote-like weapon and Worf did so. "Who are these women, Q," Riker continued, returning his gaze to the offending entity. "And why have you brought them here?"

Q returned his attention to Riker and smiled again. "Ah-ah, Commander! You weren't paying attention!" He shook a finger at Riker. "That's two demerits." He snapped his fingers and with a flash two of the gold pips on Riker's collar disappeared. "Which reminds me…" Q snapped his fingers again and when the next flash cleared he was wearing a red uniform identical to Riker and Picard's, with four gold pips on the collar. "Much better."

Ranma rolled her eyes. She'd had enough of this. "Anybody mind tellin' me wha's goin' on here?" She crossed her arms as she spoke.

Q glanced back at Ranma over his shoulder. "I'm doing you a favor, Ronnie. You'll thank me for it later."

Worf snorted. "No being in its right mind would give thanks for what you do…"

Q's head whipped back around and his face lit up again. "Ahh, Micro-Brain! You can still speak!"

The short haired Japanese girl face faulted. "Gee, friendly bunch, aren't they…"

Ranma wore a similar expression. "No kiddin'…"

Worf did not appear to hear the girls' comments, and so replied to Q without pause. He cocked his head slightly as he spoke. "Yes. I simply choose not to speak to one as dishonorable as you."

"Wit never was your sharpest point, was it?" Q quipped, appearing mildly annoyed.

"If you wish to see my _sharpest_ point, perhaps you would care for a Bat'leth match." He replied evenly.

Ranma didn't know what a Bat'leth was, but she'd recognize a challenge like that anywhere. She stepped forward, a determined look on her face, and lifted a fist, pulling back her sleeve with the other hand. "Hey, I dunno who ya are pal, but I was fight'n this jerk first so ya better not in'errupt us!"

Worf turned his attention back to Ranma, and his gaze narrowed. "I am not your… pal."

Riker shot him a warning glance. "Worf." He was thoroughly un-amused with all of this.

Picard's quick stride placed him in between Ranma and Q before Ranma could act. He smiled politely, though still with obvious frustration at the unfolding events. "Whatever this," He glanced at Q and then back to Ranma "this entity, has done to you young ladies," Ranma's brow furrowed slightly more at the term "I can assure you that the crew of the _Enterprise_ is on your side. However," He looked around the room quickly at Worf and Q, giving a rather tense smile to all three of them. "There is to be NO fighting of any kind aboard this ship. Is that understood?"

Q rolled his eyes. "Oh, very well Jean-Luc. If it's that despicable to you then I shall restrain them." He snapped his fingers and another blinding flash found Ranma and Worf locked to the floor where they stood with iron chains. "There, is that better? Now they can't get anywhere near each other." He said in a motherly tone. Both strained against their chains, wrenching and pulling on them. The dark haired young Japanese girl gasped at the sight of Ranma in chains and dropped her bag, trying to help free the buxom redhead.

Picard was livid. "Release them! NOW!" He waved in indication of Ranma and her dark haired companion. "Return these young ladies to wherever you found them and then get off my ship!"

Q sighed and snapped his fingers again. The chains disappeared and both Ranma and Worf were free. They glared at Q, all former animosity between them forgotten for the time being, and rubbed their wrists where they had been bound moments before. "You know, for Starfleet's finest you certainly are indecisive, Captain. You really should learn to make up your mind." Q hopped down from the panel he'd sat on a minute earlier, it was the console in the front of the room, on the girls' left. Before Picard or anyone else could say anything, the entity smiled and raised his hand again. "Teach them well, Jean-Luc. Au revoir!" He snapped his fingers a final time and was gone, leaving Ranma and her companion standing in awkward silence on the bridge of the Starship _Enterprise_.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: It should be said that this was originally intended to be a MUCH longer chapter. I was shooting for 3 to 4 times this length, and really would have preferred to deliver that goal after this long. Still, you all know how long it can take, especially with RL and numerous other projects getting in the way like they do. I shudder to think of how neglected my DA account has become. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this first 'real' Chapter! Let me know what you think, comment! Offer ideas, suggestions! Tell me what you hated, tell me what you loved! SPEAK TO ME! XD I hope to get a new chapter, or an update of this one to it's intended length, up in the near future.

On one last footnote, I'd like to point out that this chapter REALLY shows more of the crew than Ranma and Akane. It's designed that way for this section. I really wanted to show what Ranma was seeing, and show something of how oddball the situation seems to him. Note that he still treats it all as he treats pretty much anything that happens to him. The way Ranma's life is, I think it will take a little while before what just happened to him really sinks in. Rest assured, it'll get interesting when it he figures it all out. Oh, and Akane fans don't despair! There'll be more of a part for her in the coming chapters.

There was an extraordinarily pale man with gold eyes sitting at what to Ranma looked like the desks he slept on through most of High School who had been watching the scene unfold in silence until now. "

NOTE TO SELF: Q's motivation. Ranma and Akane have recently shown some sort of extraordinary incompetence or stupidity in their relationship. Also an extraordinary proof of their feelings for each other should have accompanied this. Perhaps one of the following: Shinnosuke arc, Failed Wedding and Saffron arc, Possessed Akane Doll arc, or a self created series of events similar to these. Key feature MUST show their feelings while still ending out with a SNAFU that makes all emotional progress moot and leaves them more or less back at their usual situation.


End file.
